The Freakin' Chickens Are Here!

How far would you go to keep up with the current trend?

She shot straight up in bed as her husband burst in the room exclaiming, "The freakin chickens are here!"
The What??? Now, if my husband were to say that to me I would be stumped. Did we order frozen chicken breasts from some company similiar to Omaha steaks or something? Did he make a surprise trip to Sams Club and bring home a box of chicken nuggets for the kids and can't find room in our overstuffed freezer? Is chicken code for friends who are afraid to enter our house for some unknown reason?
No. For my dear friend, her husband was being very literal. Ten baby chickens were delivered to their doorstep and though they were expecting them to arrive within the next few weeks they were just not exactly prepared for them to show up yesterday. The chicken coop is not complete. That's okay. The little chicks need to stay inside getting to know the family for the next month anyway. They will become like pets.
My friend does not live on a farm, or even in the country for that matter. Neither do several of my other friends who own chickens and collect their own eggs. We are talking about residential neighborhoods and downtown living. One friend even had a scenario where a few chickens escaped her yard and were running down the sidewalk of a main street in our downtown. Don't worry! She chased them down!
I would not know where to even begin with raising chickens. Have you ever heard of debarking a dog? I think I would have to have the chickens "debocked".
So, in L.A. the hippest people carry little purse dogs everywhere they go. Here, my friends proudly sport chickens. They don't carry them in purses, although that might be a fun trend to get started!
I know! I will borrow one of my friend's little chicks and take it with me on my trip to L.A. I 'll have a little chicken sweater monogrammed for it to wear, and I will carry it around in my purse with its little head poking out proudly informing people it's the "latest trend". Soon you will see on the cover of US Weekly "The Latest Hollywood Accessory! The monogrammed Chicken! See which celebrities are sporting this new look." If you happen to notice it laid an egg in your purse that is an added bonus! Mmmmm....breakfast!