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Saturday, March 7, 2009

Take a Little Time for Yourself

Have you ever misunderstood your own mood?

As part of my rigorous, 28-day California preparation, I booked a facial at Serenity Day Spa hoping for a transformation of my blotchy, breaking-out skin. Plus, I had a gift certificate I needed to use. My facial was scheduled for this afternoon, and after a hurried day of going to the gym, running errands and taking Will to an afternoon birthday party, I finally left the children with daddy, so I could enjoy this much needed time for myself.
Now, I know what you are thinking! Oh, that sounds so wonderful! I would be in heaven! Yeah, that is what I was thinking too when I booked the appointment. So, why was I dreading the appointment all day? Yes, I just said DREADING. When I said goodbye to my children I felt anxiety about leaving them for the hour and a half I would be gone. I must be going cuckoo! As I stood there in the spa facial room and prepared to lie down, I realized I did not feel like being there at all. Why on earth?
Then I was hit with a revelation about what was wrong with me. I am constantly being touched all day long by someone, whether it be one of my children or my husband. I am tugged on, pulled at, bitten, kissed, hugged, loved on, and I enjoy every minute. My love tank is full. In fact, I am pretty sure it is overflowing. When I was single I really was not touched by anyone unless I was dating. I remember loving things like facials, manicures, pedicures, and massages partly because it provided human touch. Today, I did not think I needed or wanted ANYONE ELSE TOUCHING ME!!! That sounds ridiculous for someone as touchy-feely as me, but it was truly how I was feeling.
Guess what? I was WRONG. That appointment ended up being the most soothing thing for my psyche that I could have ever imagined. It was so stinkin relaxing, and I ended up feeling like I had died and gone to heaven. I felt all this tension melting away, and I started thinking of all these really nice things I should do for my husband. I thought, "Instead of henpecking my husband tonight, I should give him a facial! I bet that would make his year!" Yes, the facial was rejuvinating me alright! Since when have I had enough energy to even think of giving my husband anything above and beyond the ordinary? Middway through the appointment I thought, "Why on earth would I dread anything this wonderful? What was I thinking? I should have been so excited about this all week! I need one of these every day!" Nevermind the fact that my skin did feel so much better too!
The moral of the story is sometimes we don't really know what we need. I had no idea how tightly wound I have been lately until I started to feel myself unwind in that quiet, dim room. Sometimes as a mom it is hard for me to take time for myself because I am so attached to my children, but I guess I do NEED some mommy time. Oh, and my husband is happy now too, because YES, I JUST GAVE HIM A FACIAL.

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